


Living a decision takes a life-time

by seektheinfinite



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Aaron is prepared, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Feelings, M/M, Robert is an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 06:19:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8962255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seektheinfinite/pseuds/seektheinfinite
Summary: After talking to Laurel in the pub Aaron decides that it's time to make some big decisions about his future with Robert.
  “You’re dying, aren’t you? Or you have some terrible disease? Or…” 
Tag to episode on 21/12/2016





	

Robert had barely made it through the door to the backroom of the pub when he stopped, shocked to find Aaron sitting at the kitchen table, surrounded by a pile of paperwork.

“What are you doing here?”

Aaron pulled the pen that he’d been chewing from his lip, turning around to face Robert, a look of annoyance on his face.

“I live here. Where else would I be?” He turned back to his paperwork, not bothering to wait for a reply from Robert.

Robert made his way further into the room, sighing as he placed a gentle hand on Aaron’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I just thought that you had some meeting with a new potential customer today. I didn’t think I’d be seeing you until later.”

Aaron grabbed the empty mug sitting on the table in front of him, before walking away from Robert to the kitchen. Draining the remnants of his tea in the sink, he rinsed the cup before placing it on the side, flipping the switch on the kettle as he went. Leaning back against the counter, he folded his arms defensively before replying, “Yeah, Adam said he’d handle that for me. I had some important stuff to do, and we need to have a talk.”

Robert visibly deflated as Aaron said those words. Whenever they ‘needed to talk’ it was never a good thing and it usually involved him being accused of something, and to be fair, most of the time the accusations were correct. He stood for a moment, wracking his brain in an attempt to place anything that he’d done or been involved in in the last couple of days that could have Aaron worked up but for once he was coming up empty.

Instead he put his hands up placatingly, taking a step closer to Aaron, searching his face for any hint of what might be currently running through his head. “What am I supposed to have done now, because honestly I can’t think of anything. Unless it was the state the bathroom was in this morning, because if it was that was not me; it was like it when I got in there and I’m pretty sure it was Charity that got in their first this morning.”

Aaron huffed a little laugh at Robert’s reaction to his mentioning the fact that they needed to talk. “You’re an idiot.”

“That’s why you love me so much” Robert replied without missing a beat. He was closing the gap between him and Aaron and pulling him in for a kiss before Aaron had a chance to react. Aaron found himself leaning in to it, before mentally shaking himself. They could do this anytime, they did do this anytime. Right now, they had more important things to deal with.

He leant back slightly, gentling pushing Robert away, ignoring the moan that escaped Robert’s lips as they were forcibly removed from Aarons. “Hey, do you think I’m easy. First, you’re kissing me, the next thing I know we’re upstairs and I’ve forgotten all about having this conversation.”

Robert couldn’t help but smirk a little at that. “Well, you’ve gotta give a guy points for trying, right?”

Aaron shook his head at that, it was impossible for him to get annoyed at Robert when he gave him that look and Robert knew it.

“Just go and sit down will yah, I’m just making a brew if you want one and then we can talk.” Aaron indicated the vacant chair at the kitchen table opposite the one that he had just been sitting in.

“A brew eh, it must be serious.” Aaron had turned his back to Robert now, already delving into the fridge to find the milk. “Go on then, I will.”

Waiting for Aaron to finish making the tea, Robert dutifully made his way over to the table. He hadn’t intentionally read the papers in front of Aaron’s seat but they were less than easy to ignore. They were all legal documents on writing wills and Power of Attorneys.

Robert was just about to turn around and ask Aaron what was going on when a cup of tea was being placed down in front of him, before Aaron was shuffling some more of the papers to put his own cup down.

“What?” Robert hadn’t even sat down, he was still stood, in shock. If Aaron was writing wills and working out power of attorneys, then that meant…was Aaron sick? Was he dying? God he’d only just gotten over nearly losing him in that damn car and here they were all over again.

Suddenly he couldn’t breath and the room was getting smaller, everything was getting smaller, his clothes, his lungs. His heart was hammering in his chest, trying for all it was worth to get out.

But then Aaron was there in front of him. His face swimming across his vision, blurry through the tears in his eyes. He knew he was there but he couldn’t feel him, couldn’t hear him over the roaring in his ears.

Aaron was making faces at him now, trying to say something that Robert just couldn’t understand. Didn’t he know that he couldn’t hear? What did he want from him? But then something, somewhere in Robert’s panicked brain clicked and he realised that he was trying to get him to breath. When had he stopped breathing? He was breathing, wasn’t he? Oh, no wait, that harsh panting noise was him, he really did sound like he needed some coaching with this whole breathing thing.

He watched Aaron, tried to mimic his actions, the slow steady in breath, followed by the calming breath out. The room was beginning to come into focus around him now; his heartbeat was beginning to die down, allowing him to hear Aaron telling him to breath, just breath.

He wanted to shout at him, tell him he was damn well trying to breath but for some stupid reason it wasn’t that easy right now, but since that wasn’t about to happen he settled for a pathetic whimper instead.

Aaron’s expression seemed to have moved from mildly terrified to only slight panic though so he must have been doing something right. He could feel his arm rubbing comfortingly up and down his sleeve as he continued to encourage him to just breath.

“You back with me?” Aaron questioned, a hopeful expression on his face as he searched Robert’s slightly vacant eyes.

“Yeah, I think so. Urgh, I feel like such an idiot. Sorry.” Robert averted his gaze, instead deciding to stare at his lap. This kitchen floor was filthy, when was the last time someone cleaned in here? Wait a minute, he didn’t remember sitting down? Must have been at the same time he was forgetting to breath, idiot.

“Hey, you’re not an idiot. You just had a panic attack, it happens. I have no idea why you just had a panic attack but maybe you could fill me in.” Aaron was kneeling in front of him now, his hand still rubbing soothingly along his right arm.

“You’re dying, aren’t you? Or you have some terrible disease? Or…”

Aaron squeezed Robert’s knee in an attempt to cut him off before he worked himself up to another attack. “Why would you…?” But then it dawned on him, and he inwardly cursed himself for being so stupid. He’d left all this paperwork from the solicitors all over the table, and of course Robert would jump to the worst possible conclusion.

“Rob no…this is not…I’m not dying okay. I’m not sick, well not that I know of. I just I think we need to get this stuff sorted out.”

Aaron got up from his position on the floor and leant across the table, pulling a stack of papers towards him before turning them to Robert. “This is for both of us, not just me. We need to deal with this this stuff, especially now that we’re going to get a house and we’ve got Liv to think about.”

Robert sat staring at the paperwork in front of him. An identical form to the one that Aaron had left lying on the table greeted him but instead of Aaron’s name he saw his own. He glanced across at Aaron who had now taken his vacated seat at the table, tears still pooling in his eyes.

“But why? I mean I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me what you want. I think I know you pretty well enough to know what you want, and I hope that you’d say the same for me.” He was getting angry now, not entirely sure where the emotion was coming from. Aaron was being practical, he was normally the that needed to plan for all eventualities not Aaron.

Aaron leant back into the chair, folding his arms defensively. “Why are you yelling at me? We’re not going to have an argument about this Robert, it’s happening. I will not be put in that position again, and I won’t do it to you either.”

Robert was about to snap back a retort when his brain finally caught up with his mouth and he realised what Aaron had said. “What do you mean, you won’t be put in that position?”

Aaron sighed, placing his hands on the table, fiddling with his engagement ring as he spoke. “I was talking to Laurel today and it brought up some stuff with Jackson.” Aaron paused, glancing briefly at Robert, expecting to see some kind of reaction at the mention of the one subject they never really talked about. When he said nothing, just continued to look at Aaron with understanding he continued. “She’s feeling helpless. She’s been left in this impossible place where Ashley can’t make his own decisions anymore and she has to make them for him. She’s thinking it’s time to put him in a home. But it’s like she’s second guessing herself all the time, is it the right thing to do? Is it really what Ashley would have wanted, or would he have wanted to stay at home? She doesn’t know for certain. She thinks she does, I mean they’ve known each other for so long, but there’s still that doubt that it’s the wrong thing you know.”

Robert nodded, waiting to see if Aaron was going to continue. When he didn’t, he said, “I get that. Well, no I don’t because I’ve never been in that kind of situation and I honestly don’t know what I would do if it happened to us, but what does this have to do with Jackson?”

“With Jackson, it was the opposite. He made all the decisions, he knew what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it and I didn’t get a say in any of it. I just had to go along with what he wanted and it didn’t matter whether it was what I wanted. It’s different from what Laurel is going through right now, I mean we had time to plan.” He paused, wiping away the unshed tears with the sleeve of his sweater. “But it didn’t matter because it wasn’t a partnership. He planned everything, and I just got told what I needed to do and when."

Aaron could see Robert frowning now, he was getting this all wrong. “Don’t get me wrong, he didn’t force me into doing anything I didn’t want to do. I wanted to help him but big life changing decisions are meant to be made together aren’t they? That’s why I want to do this now. I hope we don’t have to use it for another 80 years but it would just make me feel better if I knew it was there, just in case.”

Robert couldn’t help but smile at the mental image of him and Aaron together as old men, sitting in their armchairs, him stealing the remote control from Aaron as he slumped forward, asleep as usual.

“I’m glad you find it funny.” Aaron huffed, before throwing the pen that he’d been using earlier at his head.

“Sorry, just imagining us as old men” Robert shuddered, “actually it was kind of scary. I age well, but you, sadly you’re a different story.”

Aaron smiled now, a genuine smile for the first time that day. “Careful, we could easily do something to change that.”

Robert grinned back, before returning to the matter at hand. “But seriously though, if us writing our wills, and power of attorneys is something you need to do then I am fine with that. But just so you know, I am going first you’re not leaving me behind with your family.”

“Yeah I’m not so sure about that. We could be like Romeo and Juliet; tragic lovers who can’t live without each other.”

“Careful, people might think we’re soppy.” Robert grinned.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> You guys are all amazing! Seriously this fandom has made me so productive and it's all down to all of your amazing comments, kudos and encouragement. But anyway, I hope you liked this one.


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